Stop Judging, Start Supporting
I rise every morning at 6 AM robotically to the sound of chirping birds motivated to take on the day. As I tiptoe down the stairs to begin a gourmet breakfast that even the folks at Top Chef would envy, I multi-task by packing the kids lunches and post little sticky notes incorporating smiley faces and hearts. I am a winner; I am the self-proclaimed Mom of the year.
So. Not. True.
My morning routine involves hitting the snooze button until 6:50 AM tugging at the kids to hurry up because “we have 33 minutes to leave the house.” Rushing down the stairs and fumbling through the pantry to find granola bars that will have to suffice because who has time to wait for toasted waffles, unless of course the kids like them frozen in the middle.
We make our 20 minute drive to school every day (mostly) on time, but by no means do we have a smooth transition in the morning. I wish I could say that we incorporate the four food groups for breakfast, but usually we get one. Pop Tarts have grain, right?
This crazy gig we refer to as motherhood is no easy feet. It would be delightful to say we are the June Clever’s of the world baking fresh cookies and having tip-top pristine homes. Who doesn’t wish they had the time to be as wise and thoughtful as Claire Husxtable .
However, the honest and most vulnerable reality is that every mother is struggling to survive.
The moment you master one issue, you find that you may be faltering in another. We are failing and conquering motherhood madness in small and very sustaining steps. No manual kit, recipe book, or instructions will fit the mold of every mother. Sometimes, all it takes is what works for you, not what someone else thinks should work for you.
That is why moms (and dads) of the world need to form a united pack in the parental-sphere and stray away from judgment.
I will be the first to run to my other not-so-judging mom friends to ask a question if I am unsure or confused about my mommy skills.
Instead of judging, guide me, give me tips, help me find a reasonable solution, I’m in dire need after all.
Let us not forget once upon a time, we were all new mothers. In the land of feeding, burping, bathing and sleep training we must have all had some bumps and burps along the way.
Let us not judge diaper changing skills or breastfeeding vs. bottle-feeding choices. It would feel a lot better to have informative, supportive, and nurturing advisors during the highs and lows of brand new motherhood moments.
Let us not judge each other’s choices to stay at home or go to work. Wouldn’t it be wonderful to respect that we are all juggling and managing our lives in different ways? As if we don’t already have enough guilt on our parenting skills, we have to sit and analyze who works better and harder at their job. I would suggest neither. As each person is doing what is perfect for his or her life.
Let us add tips to each other’s mom manuals that create lasting solutions instead of raising eyebrows as high as the sky.
If we all begin to view motherhood as a unified community, perhaps like a friendly neighborhood dropping off cookies and popping in to say hi we may be on to something monumentally real. No one is an expert in the craft of mothering, we are all just amateurs waiting for the wisdom of grandmother-hood.
The day you see me walking into your home with a perfectly baked cake and three kids dressed better than any GAP commercial, just visualize Godzilla in the Twister movie because that is what it looked like in my home to get this darn June Cleaver.